I’ve been meaning to write a post about this for ages and a conversation this morning was the kick up the butt I needed to make it happen. So the big question is why is it so hard to make friends as an adult?
For the longest time I thought maybe it was just me. Maybe I’m quite simply not likeable, I’m opinionated, I’m loud, I have a really annoying laugh – I’m not really selling my friendship here. Yet, the more I speak to young people I realise it’s not just me. Unless you work with a lot young people, you have children or you play a sport or you’re a student the chances are you have the same problem.
Remember the days when you would just go up to another human, engage them in conversation and strike up a friendship, job done? Fast forward to adulthood in 2017 where if you so much as smile at someone you don’t know you will be viewed with suspicion. In the modern age the logical way to meet people would be online which is great and very fruitful. I have made so many friends online since I started blogging, all over the country and beyond, but it’s not so handy when you’re looking for someone to go out for brunch with next Sunday. Now I know you’re all about to chime in with “there’s an app for that”. You don’t have to sell me on the app in question however typically, in this neck of the woods, it’s dead.
I made one lovely friend through the app (hi Sacha if you’re reading) but we’ve both spoken about this challenge in Aberdeen to meet people to socialize with. I joined a book club thinking that it might help in this regard. All the women are lovely, we have great chats when we meet up but they are all married/in long term relationships, some of them have kids and again they don’t really have the time for other social commitments.
The good news is that if you live in a larger city there are probably more opportunites to meet people through events, clubs, meet up apps and through other friends so all is not lost. In the meantime I will make more of an effort to socialise with my friends who are still around and try to keep in touch with others as best I can.
Have you struggled to make friends as an adult/since leaving university? Let me know what you did to meet people in the comments.