Where are all the friendly adults at?

I’ve been meaning to write a post about this for ages and a conversation this morning was the kick up the butt I needed to make it happen. So the big question is why is it so hard to make friends as an adult?

For the longest time I thought maybe it was just me. Maybe I’m quite simply not likeable, I’m opinionated, I’m loud, I have a really annoying laugh – I’m not really selling my friendship here. Yet, the more I speak to young people I realise it’s not just me. Unless you work with a lot young people, you have children or you play a sport or you’re a student the chances are you have the same problem.

Remember the days when you would just go up to another human, engage them in conversation and strike up a friendship, job done? Fast forward to adulthood in 2017 where if you so much as smile at someone you don’t know you will be viewed with suspicion. In the modern age the logical way to meet people would be online which is great and very fruitful. I have made so many friends online since I started blogging, all over the country and beyond, but it’s not so handy when you’re looking for someone to go out for brunch with next Sunday. Now I know you’re all about to chime in with “there’s an app for that”. You don’t have to sell me on the app in question however typically, in this neck of the woods, it’s dead.

I made one lovely friend through the app (hi Sacha if you’re reading) but we’ve both spoken about this challenge in Aberdeen to meet people to socialize with. I joined a book club thinking that it might help in this regard. All the women are lovely, we have great chats when we meet up but they are all married/in long term relationships, some of them have kids and again they don’t really have the time for other social commitments.

The good news is that if you live in a larger city there are probably more opportunites to meet people through events, clubs, meet up apps and through other friends so all is not lost. In the meantime I will make more of an effort to socialise with my friends who are still around and try to keep in touch with others as best I can.

Have you struggled to make friends as an adult/since leaving university? Let me know what you did to meet people in the comments.

V ❤

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4 thoughts on “Where are all the friendly adults at?

  1. Rebecca Claire says:

    After our chat about this the other day, I downloaded bumble and set it to BFF mode. There were 3 women on there and two of them seemed to be… not my kinda people tbh and the other one didn’t match back with me. I soon uninstalled it!

    I am still wishing for a way of making new friends as an adult too as I know loadsa people who feel the same… maybe we could start a project????

    Rebecca, libfemblog.com xo


  2. oawoodward says:

    Ugh I feel this so hard. I struggle so hard with making friends – even when I join clubs or whatever like I can never seem to progress friendships beyond just being friends in that place. So like at work I have friends I’m friends with at work, but I can’t seem to progress that to being friends outside of work!

    I’m moving soon to a new town where I literally know no one and I”m considering just like, forcing my new neighbours to speak to me and befriend me haha!


  3. Charlotte says:

    I have never tried this app! I think it is a struggle to make friends as an adult and I feel lucky to have met some fabulous friends through my blog, as let’s fa it between my job, my husband and my blog I don’t really leave much time for making friends and I wouldn’t know where to start anyway haha


  4. hannahinternational says:

    I totally understand this, though I’ve not fully experienced it yet. However, it was one of my biggest concerns approaching the end of university, and still is when I think about moving somewhere where I have no friends. It’s especially hard when you suffer from social anxiety!
    Hope you can find some new people soon! It’s so nice to have new friends, and it’s not so hard to make them once you find a way…and, for me, when I push past those crazy nerves!



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