#Blogmas 6 Why I Feel Like A Bad Feminist

It’s a personal one today folks, fasten your seatbelts because things might be about to get a bit bumpy up in here.

Disclaimer: While this post does cover issues that I feel bad about or overanalyse I’m not for a second saying that if you do these things too you are a bad feminist. A feminist is simply a person who believes in equality regardless of gender. Please read this post as the light-hearted confessional it was intended to be.

I feel better about myself when I wear make-up – Make-up and feminism have a strained relationship and its place within the movement differs depending on who you ask. My view is that women shouldn’t feel they have to wear it and men and non-binary people should be free to wear it without stigma. I love taking the time to apply make-up for a night out or, on some days, to feel like I’ve got my shit together at work, but those thoughts trouble me. The fact that I feel the need to don red lips to be taken seriously at a job interview or important meeting makes me wonder whether my feminism needs improvement. Also worth noting the fact that women are taken more seriously at a job interviews if they are wearing well-applied make-up… Feminism still has a long way to go.

I’m uncomfortable with my body hair – Eeeek, overshare, but here goes. Like every human I have body hair, and normally I choose to remove it, and those times when I choose not to I’m always so self-conscious about it I cover up as much as possible which kind of defeats the purpose of that choice. Rationally I know that it’s natural to have it, it’s not unattractive or attractive, it’s just a thing that exists but it’s so engrained in our society that women shouldn’t have it and I certainly feel like people will judge. I hear some of you say “let them” and I know you’re right but I’m just not quite there yet. I’m working on it.

Sometimes I wear clothes that make me look slimmer and I’m not sorry – Typing that made me squirm in my seat and actually I’m more than a little bit sorry. Ladies, gentleman and everyone in between, I’m a fraud… Only joking, I just like an easy life from time to time. I genuinely love my body and believe everyone should do the same. Sadly this world is full of people who buy in to certain beauty standards and sometimes it’s just easier to try to fit in. I have specific outfits that I pull out for family gatherings and catch ups with certain friends. I truly believe that “flattering” is bullshit and I try so so hard to live that life but people suck, society sucks and just occasionally my half-assed  feminism sucks.

I’m rubbish at pronouns – Recently I met a beautiful non-binary person (whom I’m crushing on like crazy) and I asked them what their preferred pronouns are (they/them) but I’m so guilty of accidentally using gendered pronouns. I’m working sooooo hard on this and I know I’ll get it in to my head but every time I slip up I’m so annoyed with myself.

I think that’s enough confessions for one day. Do you do anything that makes you doubt your feminism? Leave a comments below.

V ❤

 

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6 thoughts on “#Blogmas 6 Why I Feel Like A Bad Feminist

  1. Marc Lamberts says:

    I loved this post, you might not expect that a guy would comment on this, but here it goes anyway! I think the fact that you think about all these things in relation to your actions, makes you a good feminist. I realise you don’t like that sometimes, but you are well on your way. I also think it’s important to realise that feminism isn’t universal, as in it can mean different things for different people. You are not bad for having a few bumps on the road, progress is not linear, but in the end I know you will get there. Thank you so much for sharing this!

    Marc | http://www.ohbuggerall.com

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    • sirvikalot says:

      Thanks for the comment Marc. I definitely appreciate that you commented on this as a self-defining man and also a feminist. You are totally right that one person’s feminism may not be the same as another’s and that’s ok as long as they are both in agreement that equality is important for all.
      V ❤

      Like

  2. Tamsin | Eco Fluffy Mama says:

    Please don’t feel rubbish – feminism doesn’t mean you can’t wear makeup because it makes you feel better, or that you prefer shaving. It’s having the choice to do what you are comfy with… everyone has their own idea of feminism but I strongly believe that you are not a bad feminist because you like to wear makeup, or sometimes screw up pronouns xx

    Like

  3. Kate says:

    Feminism is definitely a journey and by recognising these facts you are on your way to becoming a more aware feminist. If you are willing to learn and improve that is the important thing. Personally I am in a battle with body hair. Some weeks I will wear my shorts without shaving with pride and other times I feel wildly selfconcious.

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    • sirvikalot says:

      The thing with the body hair one is that good feminism is really about having the choice, so on those weeks when you feel self conscious it’s totally ok to remove the hair if you like. I actually prefer the feeling of having smooth, hairless legs and I’m learning to accept that that is ok and not anti-feminist.

      Like

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